I was born in Allahabad, India, in 1989. We stayed with my dad’s side of the family, as is customary in that country, in their big ol’ mansion (by that city’s standards, at least) in a joint family setting. No matter where I looked, I was surrounded by love —…


I am god. And I don’t know how to begin to describe everything that’s happened that made me realize it. The universe collapsed on me recently, and I became the point of singularity at one point.

It seems like I’m not the only one who knows that I’m god, too…


In ten years of depression, a pocket of time existed where I was actually happy. And, as if it’s even possible, it was less than a year after my mental breakdown. It was for the two or so months when I “dated” Pagli. …


From February to April 2018, my mind started to cater in on itself. In April, I had a complete mental breakdown. It’s hard to truly describe what I went through. It’s not a “feeling unlike any other”… it’s more like an earthquake occurred in my mind. Except, it wasn’t just…


At some point during the last year, I made a “Fam” list on my phone. Gopal and Gopali were at the top of the list… above my parents. I don’t know how, but my mom must’ve seen the list I made. The next time I talked to her on the…


If and whenever

I’ve seen that one look

The fierceness inside

Your eyes and your soul

And our gaze held for

One second too long

I know already

It’s not gonna be

Too long before I

Make you mine next

Have you in my hands

And keep you entwined

By my eyes alone


…Water, splashing amongst a bunch of Legos, pipes, walls and more.

…Melted cheese between two slices of toast.

…Earth. Filling all around you and inside your crevices.

…The wind that sometimes whispers and sometimes roars. Moving without a care in the world.

…Fire, that holds no shape, nor conforms.

Try to stop me from being myself… I’ll do it even more.

Show me the power of hate, and I’ll show you love. Make you realize what you could have… Maybe once more hold.

…hardly defined by the confines of my skin and body. Don’t believe me? Just watch me dance.


Ever flirted with that thing they call death and

Come so close to touching her lips you

could feel the Cold and hollow of

her breath? See the bodies all around

limp and lifeless

Smelled that awful rancid shit

and are breathing to tell the tale?

Then I know

you…


If you ever loved somebody deeply, gave them every thing you had,

even a million different shots to once just show it back,

yet never even one time felt it back…

are done wondering where you went wrong and decided they have issues. …


I was down on my luck,

Depressed as all fuck.

I became a shame,

To the family name.

I’ve kept my mouth shut,

Never really opened up.

Walked away every time

Others broke my trust.

Yaad hai mujhe, meri hasi,

Kab puri nikalti thi.

Aadhi zindagi bitaayi

Maine udaasi mai.

Sab mai piche chod gaya,

toot gayeen meri hadiyan.

Uppar se niche girke,

Aag lagi mere niche.

BilkulPagal

Much ado about nothing. Follow me.

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