Going to War: Me vs. The Universe
“You and what army?” Asked the universe to me. “From the way I see it, I’ve got just about everything on you. Numbers… which, hah… I might just die laughing at your 1 versus our… oh, that’s right, a number so high that it’s better to just write universe instead. The collective minds and works of the most evil people out there. Weapons. Gadgets of all kind, really. And fuckery of said gadgets in order to really just mess with you hard in every single way possible. Hell, I even have the ability to fuck with time and other dimensions, not to mention parallel universes. This will be over so fast it won’t even be fun for me. Which is why I ask… you and what army, kid?”
“Well… when you put it like that, it’s obvious that you already know what I know. My friends and family aren’t going to be the difference makers when you have access to all the nukes in the world, not to mention all the other ways you could fuck with us and torture us. Nah… I’ll leave them out of this, for now. It’s either going to be me versus the universe or the universe fighting for me, versus all that is evil in the world. Light… versus dark.”
“And what if, for now, the universe chooses to side with dark to your light? What will you do then? You’re not thinking you can fight all the darkness in the universe by yourself, are you? It won’t even be a fight.”
“Uhh… bring it on. I am full of so much love and such a good person… pure heart, really, that it could be me versus the world — or in this case world and then some — and I’d be fine. No matter where I go or what situation I’m in, really, I’ll be fine. Because my weapons are stronger than yours.”
“Pfft… what. Love? Being a good person? Full of heart? You think the universe cares about that? Evil laughs in your face, bro. Hell, the whole world is laughing at you right now. You see… the war has already begun and is well on its way.”
“Oh, good. I’m glad you know it’s war, not just another day in the park.”
“Dude, what’s stopping me from shooting you in the face right now? You haven’t even secured yourself or your belongings or surroundings. Is this really happening? I’m not at war… you’re just some delusional little prick who claimed you could take on the world and now… well, you don’t really have what it takes, do you? Why… why was I hoping in some way that you would? I mean… I knew I wanted a fight and all, but…”
“Go ahead and kill me. I don’t care. I’m nothing. Just a delusional little prick, remember?”
“What do you mean just kill you? That’d be… what? I mean, that’d be way too easy… I’m not going to kill you. Not outright at least. I’ll torture you, in every way and realm imaginable, until you want to kill yourself maybe. And if that doesn’t work, then I’ll kill you. Outright, on the spot, bam kablam dead.”
“Suit yourself. I’m just saying, death is not the problem here. Not living is.”
“Uhh… that’s the same thing dingus.”
“No, I mean not being able to live your life the way you want and do the things that make you happy versus just existing for the sake of existing.”
“Do the things that make you happy? You sure you got that one right? Pretty sure ‘happy’ is evanescent. That’s the problem with it all. There is no ‘happy’. We just exist for the sake of existing… then we die. Most of us do, anyway. Some inter-dimensional beings live forever, and boy do they hate it. What makes you ‘happy’, kid?”
“Following my heart, no matter what. Not worrying about the path I’m on or my destination because I know that if I follow my heart, everything will fall in place.”
“Here we go again with the heart crap.”
“You’ve never tried it? Never followed your heart before?”
“Oh sure I have. But, you know, you can’t be doing that all the time. You have to do what works… what’s been proven by others to lead to success.”
“Success? Haha… don’t make me laugh. Let me guess, success to you means money, power, or fame, right?”
“No… yeah… I don’t know. It’s what others say, too, right? ‘Look, there’s a successful man.’ ‘He’s successful.’ ‘She’s successful.’ And usually — almost every time — they’re pointing to someone who seems put together. Someone who has it all — the money, a good job, good family life, etc.”
“Okay, well… you choose success, I’ll choose following my heart. And we’ll see what happens.”
“What do you mean ‘what happens’? What’s going to happen?”
“I mean you seem pretty clear on life. You live it your way, I’ll live mine my way. That’s it.”
“But… listen, kid… you have a lot of talent. You could make a lot of money and become famous if you wanted. God knows what money can’t buy. I bet it could buy you happiness, too. At least it can buy you pills that make you happy for a short while.”
“Or… I can end up rich beyond means by following my heart to begin with. By forging my own path. And be happy the whole time and forever after too.”
“What… is your plan? What does your heart say it wants right now?”
“Right now, it says it wants to write. And sing. Make music. And share it with the world.”
“Write? About what?”
“About the epic battles I fought last year, one versus the universe. About taking in all of the pain of the entire universe. About how the universe converged into a pinpoint on me, and how I didn’t die or kill myself. How I’m the beginning of a new universe. Really… about how one man stood up to all the evil the universe could throw at him — alone — and won.”
